I am a Doric stereotype
I sup ma meal an ale
Syne wash it doon wi yirned milk
An muckle dauds o kale.

I am a Doric stereotype
I weir ma knicky tams
Tae keep ma legs frae faain doon
Wi jeelipfus o drams.

I am a Doric stereotype
The horseman's wird I glean
I've thrissles growin frae ma lugs
An sooricks in atween.

I am a Doric stereotype
I keckle like a hen
Wi horny hauns an sharny buits
An yaavins but an ben.

I am a Doric stereotype
Abune ma brose I rift
I skirl an birl at echtsome reels
An darn ma hose fur thrift.

I am a Doric stereotype
That thing ye'll niver meet
I whyles chant Buddhist mantras
An read Rene Magritte.