Raither than rainin cats an dugs,
Whit if it rained doon fowk insteid?
Dreichdoms o dominies;
Lochans o artists;
Puddles o Civil Servants
Pitterin ower yer held?
A muckle, great, clorty sea;
O fractious, bestial, battlin,
Scunnerin, dreepin humanity?

Wid it gar ye grue,
If dribblin doon yer flue
Wis a clash o cooncillors,
Argyin as nicht through?

Wid ye bile yer tea
Wi a gang o swytin roaders
Haived in the bree?

Nae John the Baptist's heid on a platter—
The hale jing-bang o human matter,
Nyitter-nyatterin ... claik an clatter,
Ye'd learn tae appreciate
Guid clean watter!