The Hallierackit Heilander
The hallierackit Heilander is scraggy as a been
Wi oxterfus o tartan plaid, steekt wi a siller preen
His tam o shanter faces north, his sporran faces sooth
He cowps a caber ilkie day … he's dane it frae his youth
He feeds his bagpipes usqueba, they gowp it doon richt weel
An yon's the wye ye NIVER see a straicht-furred eichtsome reel
He rins aroon the rugged rucks, a-chasin haggis bags
He's shot a thoosan midgies deid bit och, he niver brags
He cracks his spunks upon his teeth, he cleans his sheen wi peat
Caul kail, an oats, an dauds o deer's his daily howp o meat.
Far dis the muirlan mist cam frae? The rikk frae aff his pipe!
An fin it snaws, ye micht be sure he's dichtin doon his dyke.
The styew flees here, the styew flees there frae Birse tae Aiberdeen
There's drifts on ilkie Ben, until his winter cleanin's deen.
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